Sometimes, being known as a wild food addict puts me in an awkward position. For instance, I forgot to thaw out any of my frozen fish or lamb last night, which meant that unless I wanted to dine exclusively on canned goods (oh, yummy), I needed to go grocery shopping.
Even the most Euell-Gibbons-ish among us sometimes gets a craving for less-than-healthful foods. My downfall? Onion rings. I love those frozen onion rings that you heat up in a toaster oven. Healthful? No. Delicious? Yes.
Anyway, there I was strolling down the isle with a package of Italian sausage (also not exactly health food) and a bag of Hannaford’s frozen onion rings sitting in my basket for all the world to see. A man, whom I do not know, passed by, glanced at my basket and said, “I didn’t expect to see you here in a supermarket.”
I backtracked, equivocated and probably turned all kinds of shades of red.
“Ahem. Well,” I said, switching the basket to the other arm in order to obscure the identity of its contents. “I forgot to thaw anything out last night, so I needed to pick up a few things.”
The man smiled and walked off. I’m not sure he believed me.
Another incident sticks out in my memory, too. This happened several years ago. Again, with a basket laden with “forbidden fruit,” I rounded the isle and came face-to-face with a guy who obviously knew me.
Grinning, he said, “I won’t tell anybody if you won’t.”
With that, he walked off. And again, I was totally chagrined.
So there you have it. Yup. I live mostly off the land. But every so often I get a craving for onion rings, sausage and a number of other non-wild foods.
I feel much better having said this.